How Not To See JUNO

This is an email I sent around a few weeks before the Oscars this year. JUNO is out on DVD--catch it.

Finally caught it last night. It's been getting a lot of play-up as being the sleeper hit of the year, as well as a lot of backlash criticism of being overrated and glib, including one handjob I know who dismissed the movie as "a pro-life soapbox", which, whatever else it is, it ain't: teen pregnancy here being little more than a plot contrivance, an occasion for a lot of (pretty good) one-liners and off-hand biological observations. The movie seems more interested in its musical sensibilities than in the emotional and moral realities of getting knocked up at sixteen, which is treated with all the seriousness of a nine-month head cold. Which is not to say that it'd be a better movie it had more of a conscience about teen pregnancy, or if its main character came to any profound realizations about life as a result. Writer Diablo Cody said she wanted to create a credible, smart and funny teen girl protagonist, and that's what she's done; the pregnancy is only a set-up for the movie, and it should be seen in that regard. And you will be missing something special if you don't catch it; I enjoyed it thoroughly, the worst thing I can say about it is that it's light and breezy, and occasionally sardonic. Is the dialogue just too cute and quirky? Sure. How long's it been since you saw BREAKFAST CLUB? John Hughes, Kevin Smith, Tarantino--they're all too scripted. What's more, the real Henry V didn't speak in iambic pentameter, either. It's more a question of whether you like hearing the characters talk, whether you want to spend time with them. On that count, JUNO is a pure delight. If anything, my biggest problem with the movie is that it didn't make the most of its greatest strength: the relationship between Juno and her erstwhile inseminator, Bleeker (played pitch-perfectly by Michael Cera--and where's his Oscar nomination?). The movie should have focused more on them together; instead, they only have maybe half a dozen scenes together, which are the heart and soul of the movie. And that's maybe the most formulaic thing about this otherwise bright and original comedy, that the two principals have to be kept apart til the end, at which point they'll live happily ever after. Which doesn't ring true: you're trying to tell me that after they have sex once, they don't date or even talk much for the next 12 weeks? I GUARANTEE: you invite a 16-year-old guy over to watch BLAIR WITCH PROJECT on Starz! and instead opt to fuck him on the recliner (alleviating both your virginities), and he WILL come calling again. What's more, she described sex with him as "magnificent", and said "he's great in chair", but loses all interest in her new discovery? (That's only slightly less credible than the fact that she mentions nothing about the incident to her best friend until she fails--or is it passes?--the pregnancy test.) Then once he finds out, he still has virtually no contact with her other than a few conversations in the school hallway? I feel like there's a movie here that didn't get made. Diablo Cody said that too often, the supporting role of girlfriend to a teen male character gets relegated to either a comforter or a problem; it's too bad she carried that mistake over to this story.

For all of that, however much I'd like to see a sequel (JUNO AND BLEEKER GO TO COLLEGE, or something), what's there is solid, long as you don't expect it to be on par with SAY ANYTHING or HEATHERS. It's a worthy Oscar contender, and I wouldn't be upset to see Ellen Page win over Julie Christie, and as the odd sentimental nominee for Best Picture, there's a hell of a lot more to recommend it than the usual dark horse they put up every year (did you *see* LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE? Did you have to pay?). I'm definitely pulling for Cody to win Best Original Screenplay, and if THERE WILL BE BLOOD splits the Academy vote for Picture with NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (my choice), I hope JUNO takes it.

Want to see a more involved movie about teen pregnancy? Check out Molly Ringwald's forgotten little gem FOR KEEPS. However lightly it deals with issues like post-partum depression, family disagreements, and the fact that teen pregnancy can compromise an otherwise promising college career, at least these are addressed, whereas they're conspicuously missing from JUNO's universe.

A great little film about how a pregnancy disrupts life not only in a family but a whole township is THE SNAPPER, another overlooked movie that's by turns hilarious and poignant.

RICH IN LOVE has a great supporting cast of likable characters, headed by Kathryn Erbe as a smart teenager trying to hold her family together. Genial and very observant.

The one movie that JUNO reminded me of more than any other is THUMBSUCKER, which treats ADHD about as realistically as JUNO does pregnancy. But it's got likable characters, realistic parents, and a lot of laughs.

But no teen girl story will ever beat DARIA, the first season of which I got from Scarecrow, and have been watching all week. Which is perhaps what occasioned so much thought on the subject.